The Question of "Why Am I Here?"

Quite often, I hear my friends and neighbors asking themselves this intriguing question, "Why Am I Here?" ༼ང་ག་ཅི་འབད་ འཛམ་གླིང་ནང་འོང་ཡི་ག་སྨོ༽

At one point in time, I too asked this question to myself.

Three days ago I strolled along the road that goes to Phuentsholing from Samtse just to re-energize my jaded body. Four hours at a stretch writing discussion chapter of my research paper strained my eyes. So, I took the time off just for a casual walk. No plan and no intention of going out for a long walk. Somehow, my intuition took me out and I followed. I was all alone.

On my way, I saw a troop of monkeys munching over some leaves above the road, playfully. What seemed to be a mother monkey was just staring at me and our eyes got locked. I was little afraid and pretended not to be because I knew as a human I don't possess any skills to fight against a group of monkey accept my brain. But the brain doesn't work in such a situation, that is why humans cannot survive in a forest like monkeys hanging on a tree. They are far more superior than us in the forest. The baby monkey was so cute and hanging at the back of its mom. One huge monkey amongst all was the first to vault and disappeared in the midst of leaves. All other monkeys then followed him and all disappeared but I could still hear their screams for some time. After a minute or so, my unknown wild friends left me all alone again, strolling on my path. 

As I continue walking, then this question deeply bothered me. The first question that instantly popped up in my mind when I saw monkeys was, "Why these monkeys here?" But I don't know whether monkeys had ever asked this question to themselves, probably not at all. Maybe, that is why they are very peaceful hovering from tree to another day in and day out. By the nature of their existence, they might not have asked this question. Aren't they capable of asking this question, I absolutely don't know.

But for sure, the human brain would have asked this question at one point in their life, "Why Am I here?" I don't have an answer to this question but this is what I learned from my solitary walk on that day when troops of monkeys left me baffled by their nature of existence.

We are equal to any other animals on this planet, it is just that we possess a huge capable brain that none other creature has. This evolved human brain is capable of asking questions just about anything. If there is no sun, we ask why no sun today. If it rains, why raining? If one is white, why others are black? If one is black, why others are white? Our brain is absolutely gifted to think of anything, even the ones that lie beyond earth. And it is this same brain who asked a question of why one is here on this earth.

Psychologically speaking, this question depicts the nature of low self-esteem because it shows that one doesn't have a purpose to exist. Maybe this was exactly the same feelings I had four years ago when I was bitterly betrayed by a person whom I considered as my soul-mate and that was the first and last time I asked this question, "Why Should I Exist on This Earth?". And I got the answer only after five long years. The problem was just my 'MIND' that existed within my brain.

I realized that this was the dumbest question I ever asked myself. Monkey probably didn't ask this question and they were much happier than any exuberant human being. No matter how much ever human coin their happiness, they can't be as happy as monkeys. For monkeys, only their life is their utmost concern. So, eating and shitting complete their life fully but I was wondering why I exist, though the very nature of existence is fulfilled. I ate good food than the monkey, I lived in a cozy home which monkey never thought of but I was never touched by my own life. What I lived was a superficial life. I never knew who I really was and never ever did I bothered to see my life as a piece of the universe and nothing more than that. The lack of self-consciousness crept this question in my brain but I don't know about others. I realized only if I have a brain of monkeys I would be peaceful but human beings can at anytime modify their mental schema. So, the only hope that I have is an ability to play with thoughts. I shall play my thoughts unsullied by past

nasty memories and fancy future imaginations. 

We can stop asking this stupid question only if we are truly touched by our life, OUR EXISTENTIAL LIFE. This is solely my personal observation and I do not claim that it is the same for all because my knowledge may not agree with your knowledge. 

Dechen Wangchuk
Realist and Truth-Seeker